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(CBS Chicago)   Teacher accused of masturbating in class may have been doing it for the past 10 years. That's decadent   (chicago.cbslocal.com) divider line
144
    More: Sick, Schaumburg, Paul LaDuke, Schaumburg Christian School, teachers  
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19481 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2011 at 6:37 AM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Copy Link



144 Comments     (+0 »)


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farkingismybusiness [TotalFark]  
2011-11-15 9:22:34 PM  
What did he teach? Woodworking?
 
miss diminutive  
2011-11-15 9:28:01 PM  
A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class.

And this is why plastic, transparent podiums were invented.
 
PainInTheASP [OhFark]  
2011-11-15 9:29:53 PM  
Podium? More like POUNDIUM, amirite?
 
Benevolent Misanthrope [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
2011-11-15 9:31:15 PM  
A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class.

You don't say.
 
kxs401  
2011-11-15 9:36:17 PM  
Now government is regulating what we do behind the privacy of our podiums? God, get big government out of our schools!
 
Lorelle [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
2011-11-15 9:38:28 PM  
LaDuke taught 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade algebra, 9th grade geometry, and 12th grade trigonometry and pre-calculus

He was obviously trying to teach the kids about diameter, circumference, expansion, etc.
 
ksdanj  
2011-11-15 9:39:49 PM  

miss diminutive: A teacher at a suburban Christian school has been charged with a felony, after he was fired for allegedly masturbating behind a podium while teaching class.

And this is why plastic, transparent podiums were invented.


This is also why Dominionists want private school vouchers...
 
vygramul  
2011-11-15 9:45:23 PM  
That is amazing stamina.
 
calbert  
2011-11-15 10:21:39 PM  
i23.photobucket.comView Full Size
 
Darth_Lukecash  
2011-11-15 11:41:59 PM  
Whatta jerk-off, pally!
 
Makh  
2011-11-16 1:15:35 AM  
So he has tenure now?
 
violentsalvation  
2011-11-16 2:03:03 AM  

Makh: So he has tenure now?


Win
 
The Onanist  
2011-11-16 2:09:01 AM  
Was that wrong? Was I not supposed to do that?
 
DjangoStonereaver  
2011-11-16 2:54:51 AM  

Makh: So he has tenure now?


Only if it was a Catholic school.

/Good night! Enjoy the veal!
 
Heamer [BareFark]  
2011-11-16 3:07:51 AM  
Take a page from the church's notebook and just transfer him to a different school.
 
Uchiha_Cycliste [TotalFark]  
2011-11-16 3:52:45 AM  
I had an 8th grade algebra teacher that liked to walk around the classroom with his tiny little chubby and rest it on students desks while he talked to them (mostly the girls) it was absolutely disgusting... ugh.
 
EvilEgg [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
2011-11-16 6:13:58 AM  

Lorelle: LaDuke taught 9th, 10th, 11th and 12th grade algebra, 9th grade geometry, and 12th grade trigonometry and pre-calculus

He was obviously trying to teach the kids about diameter, circumference, expansion, etc.


I am pretty sure the lesson was about the angle of the dangle and its relationship to the heat of the meat.
 
182  
2011-11-16 6:29:54 AM  
toughpigs.comView Full Size


One ejaculation....two ejaculation....THREEEEEEEE ejaculations!
 
Hawnkee  
2011-11-16 6:40:01 AM  
That's not gum under those desks.
 
digitalrain  
2011-11-16 6:41:07 AM  
That's whack. What a jerk.

/ or maybe a stroke of genius?
 
6655321  
2011-11-16 6:41:41 AM  
From the article "Through the course of our investigation, our detectives have come...."
 
Gordon Bennett [OhFark]  
2011-11-16 6:46:01 AM  
Now there's a man with spunk.
 
Muta  
2011-11-16 6:47:04 AM  

Lorelle: He was obviously trying to teach the kids about diameter, circumference, expansion, etc.


Trajectory, don't forget trajectory.
 
Muta  
2011-11-16 6:53:19 AM  

Uchiha_Cycliste: I had an 8th grade algebra teacher that liked to walk around the classroom with his tiny little chubby and rest it on students desks while he talked to them (mostly the girls) it was absolutely disgusting... ugh


I had a social studies teacher in Junior High who'd kick his knees in and out the whole class. We figured he was jacking off.

Are there any other Derby Junior High (now middle school) in Michigan Alum here on Fark?
 
Baryogenesis  
2011-11-16 6:54:10 AM  
10 years?! I thought you were supposed to seek medical attention for an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
 
RealFarknMcCoy2  
2011-11-16 6:56:30 AM  
When I was in high school, one of the middle-aged (50+) male teachers used to ALWAYS do this. He had a podium at the front of the room and he would make all of the cheerleaders sit up front, and he'd masturbate behind the podium. It was really obvious. He never got caught/fired/prosecuted, as far as I know.
 
Pert  
2011-11-16 6:56:47 AM  
"He was masturbating!"

4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
Fark_Guy_Rob  
2011-11-16 6:58:11 AM  
If you've got 10 years of experience; I think it's fine to teach. Degrees are just pieces of paper.

//I have my Master's in Debating....looking to teach it; but everyone wants PhD's these days :(
 
fisker  
2011-11-16 6:58:36 AM  

182: [toughpigs.com image 191x176]

One ejaculation....two ejaculation....THREEEEEEEE ejaculations!


bravo
 
Pert  
2011-11-16 6:59:38 AM  
"Guys, I know this is going to make me unpopular but we've got the supervisor coming tomorrow and I don't want to see any wanking in the office....."

Genius video (with Simon Pegg) (new window)
 
LonMead  
2011-11-16 7:02:03 AM  
"...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?
 
namegoeshere  
2011-11-16 7:02:20 AM  
Does it usually take that long?
 
Jon iz teh kewl  
2011-11-16 7:04:05 AM  

LonMead: "...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?


YES. BUT THIS IS ASSUMING HES TAKING 8 HOUR BREAKS AT NIGHT BY SLEEPING
 
Ed Grubermann [TotalFark]  
2011-11-16 7:04:44 AM  

namegoeshere: Does it usually take that long?


To be fair, the guy is 75 years old.
 
LonMead  
2011-11-16 7:10:12 AM  

namegoeshere: Does it usually take that long?


music-graffiti.comView Full Size


"Is it supposed to be this soft?"

Jon iz teh kewl: LonMead: "...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?

YES. BUT THIS IS ASSUMING HES TAKING 8 HOUR BREAKS AT NIGHT BY SLEEPING


Ah, a union job then.

and stop shouting at me.
 
KrispyKritter  
2011-11-16 7:14:26 AM  
'baitin!
 
way south  
2011-11-16 7:14:50 AM  
This article would have been much better if it was a female teacher.
 
LonMead  
2011-11-16 7:15:52 AM  
Could he be related to this guy? (new window)
 
Lsherm [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
2011-11-16 7:17:00 AM  
Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?
 
henryhill  
2011-11-16 7:22:12 AM  
cache.interscope.comView Full Size
 
LonMead  
2011-11-16 7:25:12 AM  

Lsherm: Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?


schnittberichte.comView Full Size


Could give you many, many examples of that type of podium.
 
simrobert2001  
2011-11-16 7:34:34 AM  

Lsherm: Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?


In all likelihood, he was caught, and just shuffled off to a different school.

This is called the "Catholic Church Approach"

/bazing!
 
RU_Rules  
2011-11-16 7:44:06 AM  
So, that would make you a Master Debater?
 
Shakespeare's Monkey [OhFark]  
2011-11-16 7:44:53 AM  
Have to link this one, too big. Clicky Pops.


/Possibly NSFW
 
Resident Muslim [TotalFark] [OhFark]  
2011-11-16 7:46:24 AM  
So what?!

I bet he didn't yell Oh Mamy!
 
The Mind Boggles  
2011-11-16 7:46:29 AM  
what a touching story. gives me a warm, moist feeling deep inside.
 
badger-badger  
2011-11-16 7:48:17 AM  

LonMead: "...doing it for the past 10 years..."

Wouldn't that start to chafe after about 2-1/2, 3 years? Even with a good lotion?


Magenta!

/can't be obscure
 
strapp3r  
2011-11-16 7:49:41 AM  
the intern

[image from blavy.com too old to be available]
 
Gordon Bennett [OhFark]  
2011-11-16 7:49:46 AM  

Pert: "Guys, I know this is going to make me unpopular but we've got the supervisor coming tomorrow and I don't want to see any wanking in the office....."

Genius video (with Simon Pegg) (new window)


Oh yes, Big Train. That one was very hit or miss and mostly misses.

Here's another of the few hits. (new window)
 
wolfzr2  
2011-11-16 7:54:54 AM  

LonMead: Lsherm: Investigators determined that, while seated at a podium in class on Friday, LaDuke unzipped and lowered his pants and masturbated while students were present in the classroom.

You know, I'm trying to figure out the mechanics of this, and I just can't do it. Did the podium have an apron? How in the hell could he possibly do this without anyone noticing? Do they make some super-private podium I'm not aware of?

[www.schnittberichte.com image 370x209]

Could give you many, many examples of that type of podium.


You win 1 intarwebs.
 
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